1st Scenario: I’m with a group of college students having casual conversations- school, clothing, parties, French fries, name it- and I am that chatty and loud person, giggling to almost everything like a little school girl. And they adore me.
2nd Scenario: I’m with a group of people of my age (probably I’m the youngest) and we talk about something more serious- life, Christianity, health, politics (Ugh! I read the paper but I am not a fan of meditating on what’s happening in the country.) Still, I’d like to believe I give relevant insights on these conversations. I may sometimes be lazy, but I’m not dumb to have my opinion on the profundity of things.
So all of these leave me wondering what I’m really like in front of people? Am I the serious type who can deal with talking about life’s complexities or am I the one who laughs crazily over the most insignificant detail one can ever talk about?
I get the respect of different people on different age brackets, from 40 somethings down to 3 year-olds, when I’m really in the intellectual zone. I get all big-sisterly over the college kids and they seem to learn from me. But then again I also do behave in a way that I can relate to them that makes me feel so childish I wonder the other generation would be surprised upon learning how silly I can also get.
I haven’t really been all chatty with the grown ups because I feel compelled to act more maturely. And I ought to. I am 25! They certainly have fun in a different way than the young ones. I do enjoy both, but I’m hesitant to be giggly or to jump in excitement in front them. I’m supposed to be respectable!
Now I wonder, am I authentic or fraud? Am I a grown up or pretending to be?