Sunday, April 12, 2009


I got a call from my friend 2 hours ago and I knew right away that there was a problem. She never calls on midmornings if everything were fine. And in a split second, she appeared at my office crying her heart out, wailing at the news that her ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend already. I never thought she’d be able to get to my office after hearing her on the phone. I was thinking she might get into an accident or something. That was how terrible she sounded.

I’ve always had a hard time comforting people crying in front of me. Of course I couldn’t say “don’t worry it’s gonna be okay” knowing that at the state of her hysteria, that kind of consolation is totally unacceptable. If I were in her place, that would really be illogical.

I was thinking how would I want to be consoled in that situation? I’ve had my share of heartbreaks and my mind was closed from any form of explanation. All I wanted was to pour out my misery and to be heard.

Maybe that was what she needed as well. But still, would I just sit there watching her burst in tears? It was kind of awkward to even touch her as I might invade her personal space in her panic attack and suffer all her surfacing rage! I didn’t want to be hit or slapped in the face after all.

By some magical moments that have passed, she calmed down. And I had to be hard on her saying that it’s over. (As if I were the one who broke up with her.) She had to hear it straight because between her little sobs, I could already hear her unthinkable ideas that it might not be true, maybe that was just a joke.

I mean, c’mon! It was as clear as the summer sky that the guy had already moved on. And I cannot accept that a dear friend of mind would be stuck in a deep, pathetic mess while the ex is already building his new fairy tale story. My pride could not accept that. The hitting/slapping possibility seemed to have faded already that’s why I had to the courage to shake her up a little bit.

She’s the kind of girl who needs everyone she loves to be at her side at times of distress. She was starting to compose herself when calls started coming in and friends started dropping by at that very moment to console her. I could already imagine her repeating the same story over and over again.
Break ups, whew.


  1. Cooool.C my blog 2 n leave ur cmnts.

  2. While its important to have friends around after a breakup, sometimes I do believe the constant retelling of the story for each interested party might be a step backwards.

    Telling it once or twice is fine, but constantly retelling just makes the emotions of heartbreak drag on even longer.

    Personally, I do my best not to retell the story after the first few initial tellings. Once I'm 100% over it, then you're welcome to my story...hence my last few blog posts. Thanks for commenting on them.

  3. Yes, i wish my friend could read your posts as well. She might have a clearer perspective on how to deal with her broken heart. Your last few blog posts are truly eye-openers for me, personally. It's nice hearing from a guy's point of view. =)

  4. Your friend is really lucky to have you. You're really someone she can depend on, even in the wee hours of early morning. During challenging points in life it's always nice to have someone to turn to, just to listen to our burdens. I'm the same way, I always appreciate a friend who knows how to listen and to give me a hug especially when there's nothing else that needs to be said.

  5. awww, how nice of you being there for her...whether she needed to hear kind words or just a shoulder to cry on. its never easy being the dumped one in the former relationship, and its never easy knowing theyve moved on to someone else- I'm sure we all at some point cling to the possibility of getting back together with that other person- and with me it wasnt the breaking up that hurt the most, it was knowing he'd moved on only 2 mths after it ended...especially after 5 yrs of being with him. you sound like a wonderful friend to have. :D

  6. p.s.- thank you for the lovely comment/advice. I enjoy hearing from new people, so feel free to comment any time. I look forward to future posts from you. :)

  7. mel - *big hug*

    larissa - yeah break ups are really one of hardest things to deal with..*sigh thanks for stopping by. i'm always checking out your blog =)


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