Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It's Hard to be Ugly

I had a short chat with a former college classmate whom I have not seen for more than 5 years already. I’m really surprised every time I bump into “old people” in my life and after the how are you’s, the next question would automatically be “are you getting married yet?” or “do you have a boyfriend?” At this age, is it really mandatory to ask those questions? (Maybe I’m overanalyzing this again because I don’t have a boyfriend haha. That's a different story.)

Anyway, so I had to tell the truth of course that I’m not seeing anyone. Instinctively, I felt I had to ask him the same question. And more surprisingly, he said “It’s hard to be ugly.”

Wait!!! I don’t know how to answer that statement! Should I boost his confidence? Should I say oh poor you…?

Most guys I get to talk with have a big mouth, talking endlessly about themselves. Even if they are not objectively handsome, they remain to be OVERLY confident, which sometimes leaves me wondering where they get that confidence from. So I guess, I find those guys “normal.”

However, this is one very rare case that a guy bluntly said to me that he is ugly. If ever I need to ask a guy if he’s seeing anyone, I would expect a plain yes or no answer and then shift back to talking about himself. I don’t really like guys who feel that every species on earth would swoon at the sight of them, but meeting someone who does not have even scraps of confidence makes me draw back from him.

I almost told him he will never have a girlfriend if he talks like that to everyone he meets! Does he think anyone would still go out with him after hearing him say that he himself thinks he is ugly? But of course I didn’t go all motherly with him and give him a lecture on how to handle proper conversation with girls!

But maybe he’s just kidding? Nah, no sane person would do that.


  1. I don’t understand why people equate being beautiful with having a bf/gf. You don’t need someone else to feel wonderful about yourself. Infact one of the ladies at work tells me all the time: “marriage makes happy people happier, not unhappy people happy.” I mean don’t get me wrong its nice to have a relationship, but you don’t NEED it. Nor do you NEED to be married.
    So whatever happened with the rest of the conversation? Was he joking? Or was he serious?

  2. That is so true! Somehow, Tom Cruise's famous line "you complete me" is not right after all. How can you ever be with someone when you yourself are not whole?

    I think he was not joking. I just told him to stop saying that and just rambled on more feel-good stuffs. I was talking with him in Filipino (my native language) so it's kinda hard to translate some slang words. ;p

    He really made me so uncomfortable with that one I was starting to feel really sorry for him...

  3. Awww...poor guy. But at this age, he should at least have a bit of self confidence. He might not be good looking but I'm sure there are things about himself that he could be proud about... Poor guy. But what a turn off to hear someone say something like that. I simple yes or no would have been a better answer. And besides I see ugly people who have really great looking partners so I don't think that it's always about the looks.

  4. Exactly Mel..It's not the looks that dictates a relationship.. I still believe on that...Well, maybe he had awful experiences.


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