Meri Kurisumasu

I can’t believe 2007 is almost over. When I look back (which I should try to quit doing often), it leaves within me a deep hollow.

At this very minute, 365 days ago, I was glued in front of the computer, talking with somebody. We were talking about our plans on summer of ’07. We were talking about how the holiday season would just pass by.

He spends special occasions sleeping. During his birthday, he would lock himself in the house and I suppose not show up to the world until the day passes. On Christmas, he still is in the house, sleeping. And at that time, I didn’t want him to be alone. Surely we were oceans apart, but somehow, for no vocal reasons, we stayed connected.

It was ten o’clock. Should be midnight there. I sent him my Merry Christmas greeting. I knew he was already sound asleep by then so I didn’t wait for any reply. I spent my midnight just like other Christmas I had, so practically we were on the same boat. I was in the middle of opening a gift when my phone rang and to my grand surprise, it was him calling.

“I thought you were sleeping…” I told him with a huge grin on my face. “I had set my alarm. I’ve been trying to call you but I couldn’t get through.” I didn’t even understand the last words. I was struck by the alarm thing. He set the alarm?! What in the world did it mean? Yeah I know alarm clocks are designed to wake you up but what did he do that for? I couldn’t believe he woke up in the middle of the night just to talk with me on Christmas, and what, break his own tradition of spending it asleep? It was incredible and I couldn’t get enough thinking about it.

Christmas Eve 2007. What is it like?

I spent the whole day at the farmhouse with my family, relaxing and savoring the cold wind from the top of the mountains. Nobody else to talk with besides them.

When we arrived back home, there was an odd silence in the house. Sure we were talking, but something was missing.

7:22 pm – I finished writing my blog entry about friendship. I went down a got myself some veggie juice. Weird eh?

Now (8:37 pm) – 365 days back, I never imagined myself doing this today.

I sent him a message, checking if he were not drunk or asleep. Gladly, he isn’t. And it’s good to know that for a change, he’d be spending the night with his family. He ended his message as this: Thanks for remembering. Meri kurisumasu. I found that funny before. But now, staring at the message, I’m beginning to hate myself for wishing that he would set his alarm later at 2:00am there to call me and talk with me on Christmas.

Truly, things change. And you wouldn’t even notice it until it hits you boldly in the eye. I wonder what the rest of the world is doing at this very moment I am consuming myself from the memories of the past Christmas I spent with somebody miles away with a foolish phone call I just wish I could still have.