This Isn't About American Idol

Yesterday I was all set to go home early to catch up with American Idol’s elimination. Yes, I’m a huge fan (of any singing competition for that matter). I have already searched it online early in the morning and I already knew who was going to be eliminated. Thanks to those blogging live! But still I wanted to catch it on the replay.

On my way home I called my friend who was supposed to be watching the concert of Season 7's two Davids with me this coming May. I couldn't wait to confirm our reservation and she has not answered any of my calls this week! After another try to contact her, she finally picked up. Yay. But it was only for me to find out that she might not make it because of some meeting/conference/seminar. It all sounded the same to me. What else can I do, right?


I already wanted to hang up, thinking of someone else to come with me, but she was trying to hold the call for a few more seconds. All right, you're not decided yet if you want to watch, can we say bye bye now? Finally, after those few seconds of uneasiness, she said she wanted to see me and probably hang out at Starbucks. Oh yeah, I missed a tiny detail. She's the one whose ex recently broadcasted his being in a new relationship. Of course she wanted someone to talk to and sure I wanted to be a good friend.

But...but...my American Idol... "It's elimination today! Matt is going home!" I unknowingly blurted out. Did I just say that?

"What???" I could already imagine her eyes almost bursting into tears. Would I choose a TV show over a friend in need? Her reproach made me feel guilty of course. But I just wanted to loosen her up so instead of going to Starbucks and reinstating how miserable she is, maybe coming over to my house to watch TV wouldn't be so bad? And I'd be happy too! *wink

But then again, I'm not heartless... Instead of my room's big screen, I was up to massive amount of sugar intake! (I try to go away with coffee so I ordered the lesser evil- green tea frapp minus the whipped cream.) I listened to her stories, as if it were the first time I ever heard of it. She was filled with questions and was in denial I've never witnessed in my entire life! They've already had problems for over a year now and officially broke up 7 months ago, but still she feels dejected and cheated.

Of course I know how hard it is. She was still hoping for a reconciliation even when she was told the feelings were not the same anymore and that it was over. Until now. I couldn't bear seeing her that way and I wanted to shake her again and again to wake her up from her nightmare. It's long been over and she couldn't accept it.

No matter what I tell her, I know the choice remains to be hers. Either she locks herself up to that detestable position of wanting to fix something that's long been broken to the point that the pieces already cuts herself, or she accepts the reality already glaring in front of her.

It's going to be a long and agonizing ride.

By the way, I knew there was another replay later that night. =)