the worst feeling of all

I was watching this movie, after like an entire day of just staring at the tv. I guess I'm just really all bummed today that I'd have to end the day with all these stupid thoughts, again. It really sucks having to miss someone, that's a fact. But missing someone you barely had spent time with is even worse. Coz you're hooked with all those fantasies of yours, thinking about the what might have beens and the what ifs. And that damn movie made me think of these things, again! Grr.

I have this very good friend of mine that I've always had a special feeling for. Well, it's not as if there could be anything possible between us, he lives miles away and is pretty having a difficult time figuring out himself. I've always thought of him as the only one and biggest what if of my life. And I think I have told this very same story countless times already, waiting for someone new for me to tell the story all over again, but i never get tired of it. At the end of the day, I still wonder, could he really be much more than just a "very good friend?"

Yeah, it's the same story. But for me, it seems mine's always original. And here I am wondering what could he be doing at this very moment. If I try to call him and tell him i miss him, and i bet he'll tell me he misses me too...we're close what can i do? Well, my friend N would tell me i'm such a gullible person to believe him. I need this friend of mine to keep me to my senses. lol