The Library I Can Barely Remember

I’m checking a thesis paper of a bunch of college kids. Yes, instead of stretching my mind to think of marketing plans, I am checking the review of related literature of a thesis. It sucks all the energy out of me especially when I’ve had too little sleep last night. And seeing all the grammatical errors and incoherent statements does not help. And these kids texting me makes it a bit worse. Patience. Patience.

This study is about automating a current library system of their college, and I’m thinking: Your library isn’t automated yet??? It’s 2011! And I can already imagine how their library looks like. Card catalogs. Library cards. My heart goes for them. That’s just one among the many sad things in the educational system in third world countries. Not to mention that their school is a private one. But it’s good at least they are starting somewhere. They better get this approved and not just a pass to graduate.

Anyhow, my brain cannot accommodate being concerned with the outdated condition of the educational system in the country. I’ve read too much bar code system and information system in the paper my brain is about to explode. If it were about psychology, I might have been a little more interested.

So, reading their paper makes me recall what my college library looks like. I guess I can’t help comparing. I’ve been to the library once in a while. Borrowed books for my own pleasure. I guess that’s where I first read Og Mandino’s work. I used to hang out there to study. Yes, I was one of those students who actually made it a point to study.

Ten years ago, we already had an automated system and I believe it was already functional even when my sister was going there. So that makes it 18 years or so. Well, that university would always be ahead in terms of technology. Anyway, our library was cozy and uh, well, quiet of course. And very, very, very cold. That made the place a favorite spot of sleepy students who pretended to be swallowed up in reading, but actually… you know what I mean.


It was easy to locate the books as we had a system to identify where they were located or if there were still any copies available. And there were different sections in the building. We had Cybernook downstairs where there was always a clamor for a computer spot. Friendster days made it difficult to find an available slot. On the fourth floor was the Filipiniana section. I had to go there too for my Literature papers etc. There was also a section for all the back issues of newspapers, magazines, etc. Some were still on hard copy, and some were already on a film copy. It was also fun searching for articles I cannot remember what for. The archives section is the least area I visited. When I got there first, fresh from the province, I didn’t even know how to pronounce archives! And I graduated with honors in high school. What a shame.

Of all the libraries I have ever visited, I believe that library is one of the most organized and highly sophisticated ones. Back then, I used to think if I ever used the library enough. Well, the library fee that my parents paid was quite high. At least I should have utilized it.

Alright, back to the thesis. I have to finish this soon.

Writing With No Idea

I don't know how this post will turn out. I just feel like there are a lot of stuff going on inside my head and I need to have an outlet. I haven't written anything for a long time and the thoughts are just piling up already.

Thought #1: This morning I was taking a shower when I began talking to myself (like I always do). I have the tendency to push myself hard and have high expectations from myself. That's why I get anxious often. I want to get things done and on time, and I stress myself on thinking how to do that.

Right now, I am working at my dad's business again. It's been a year since I decided to leave the business, and now I'm back. Anyway, I don't have the time to explain why I ended up helping out here again. My concern is just to groom someone who could be like me to take care of the marketing side of the business, so I can have the liberty to do the things that I really want to do without being guilty of being selfish and leaving my family in the middle of a need.

Anyway, going back to this morning's shower, I decided to be easy on myself. It's only Thursday. I don't need to rise a marketing executive in just 4 days. Maybe I'm just getting a bit impatient. So.... whew... I'm calm...

Thought #2: Working in the business and the church is harder than I thought. Setting the priorities and managing my time? Ugh, I get sleepy at 8:30pm! I feel I'm getting tensed each day. Tomorrow I was told I need to go to the finance officer of the church to absorb the responsibility of our finance from her. (head spinning)

Let's see what happens. I think I'm just getting too overwhelmed with wanting to be good in everything I do that I end up not being able to perform well at all.

A Frat Encounter

LG Meeting: May 23, 1pm at Laurel Park. So I was there at exactly 1pm...or maybe not...I may have arrived 2 minutes after one. I was busy reviewing the topic for LG for a good 30 minutes when a group of men passed by. Not that they had my interest at all. So I went back to reading. I was enjoying my solitude when another guy, alone this time, walked near my personal space with his MP3 playing some loud songs I wouldn't dare figure out. He looked at me and went on his way. Okay. Now I had my peace back. I didn't really notice the group I was supposed to meet was nearing an hour late, until this guy approached me, trying to be cool and all that, and asked me why I was alone etc etc. I tried to answer as casually as possible. Seeing all my books and the bible, he began asking me about Christianity and my faith. He was starting to get on my nerves asking me a bunch of questions showing no interest at all on the answers, when two other guys came. Great. Now I had more audience. The new guy seemed more reserved and was actually listening to me lecture (for the lack of a better term coz I may have seemed to be really lecturing), while the other one was not interested at all. He just sat there with his back on me. The first guy however, kept his Mr.-Know-It-All aura and a good deal of arrogance. I didn't really want to answer any of his questions with that attitude, but I tried to be polite and extend some form of compassion. He kept on throwing objections and ridicule when I noticed his black shirt with an imprinted name of a well-known fraternity. So I dropped the lecturing tone, and had nothing left to do but smile...and make a quick HELP ALERT to my beloved LG. And after a while, at long long last, they came to rescue me. Yay! But the guys interrogating me had already left just seconds ago. Amazing they came all at the same time, as if they were just hiding somewhere, watching me and when I was a bit scared enough they just appeared to say "Surprise!!!" Seeing them gave me an enormous amount of relief. And so I cried. Not out of fear guys ha, but out of relief. I had to include the crying part, kasi yan ang highlight para sa mga heroes ko hmpf! Really, we can never expect when or where people such as these frat members would approach us and question us about our faith. I wonder what it's going to be like in the end days where we will be forced to renounce our faith. We, believers, don't have to satisfy their questions nor enter into a debate with them. But we ought not to be intimidated by their egotism nor fear their "power." We always have those people to count on (yihee thanks guys!) and of course a more powerful God to back us up.

"Hi"

*Another people-from-the-past post*

I find meeting people from childhood exciting. I can just imagine them 15 years ago - all those soiled looks because of endless playing, the talking about the cartoon shows that seemed so important then, all those little fights - then suddenly bump into them one day all grown up. I find it interesting to see how they look and behave now.

A few months ago, I learned that an employee of one of the biggest clients I have right now was a classmate in grade school. We've talked a lot on the phone and she was pretty nice to me. She was even addressing me very politely and was accommodating with my requests and inquiries.

So when I got an invitation for a supplier's engagement in their company, I was thrilled to see her and maybe catch up a little. After all I haven't seen her since 6th grade. Honestly, I'm not really fond of small talks with people from the past whom I have not shared relevant memories with, and I have to admit sometimes I even hide (literally) to people if I'm not in a very nice mood to greet them (which happens very often). But with this particular case, I was really excited. Her being my client added up to the excitement of course.

I entered the conference room with a bunch of people in the registration area and instantly I spotted her. Even with glasses on, I already recognized her. I put on the warmest smile I could ever give to someone and waited for her to return my look.

Finally, she saw me.

"Hi." And she went back to fixing whatever those papers were and instructing all those in the registration.

That was all I got. I didn't have the nerve to go on with the "how are you" after my friendliest "hi" since she didn't seem interested on pursuing any form of conversation with me.

I don't recall any instance that I was mean to her nor did we fight in 6th grade. Even so, it was in 6th grade for goodness' sake. I wonder why was she not so pleasant as she seemed on the phone. I'm thinking maybe she thought it was improper to be all friendly in a professional setting as that. Or maybe she was not just in the mood. Is this what I get from hiding from people? Or maybe she's just not very friendly at all. The bad thing is, I felt a certain air of arrogance in her actions and even in her short hi. It felt like "Oh well I work in this company and you're just my contractor."

Obviously, I'm overanalyzing again. I may be overreacting but I really find her greeting very forced and rude.

I just wish I wasn't that excited to deserve a very ordinary reaction.

It's Hard to be Ugly

I had a short chat with a former college classmate whom I have not seen for more than 5 years already. I’m really surprised every time I bump into “old people” in my life and after the how are you’s, the next question would automatically be “are you getting married yet?” or “do you have a boyfriend?” At this age, is it really mandatory to ask those questions? (Maybe I’m overanalyzing this again because I don’t have a boyfriend haha. That's a different story.)

Anyway, so I had to tell the truth of course that I’m not seeing anyone. Instinctively, I felt I had to ask him the same question. And more surprisingly, he said “It’s hard to be ugly.”

Wait!!! I don’t know how to answer that statement! Should I boost his confidence? Should I say oh poor you…?

Most guys I get to talk with have a big mouth, talking endlessly about themselves. Even if they are not objectively handsome, they remain to be OVERLY confident, which sometimes leaves me wondering where they get that confidence from. So I guess, I find those guys “normal.”

However, this is one very rare case that a guy bluntly said to me that he is ugly. If ever I need to ask a guy if he’s seeing anyone, I would expect a plain yes or no answer and then shift back to talking about himself. I don’t really like guys who feel that every species on earth would swoon at the sight of them, but meeting someone who does not have even scraps of confidence makes me draw back from him.

I almost told him he will never have a girlfriend if he talks like that to everyone he meets! Does he think anyone would still go out with him after hearing him say that he himself thinks he is ugly? But of course I didn’t go all motherly with him and give him a lecture on how to handle proper conversation with girls!

But maybe he’s just kidding? Nah, no sane person would do that.

When Writing About Me is Hard To Do

I read several blogs almost everyday and most of the time I am amazed how people are able to open up their life online.

I find it hard to write about me. Originally, this blog should serve that purpose. But my daily dilemma when I face the computer is- what do I write about?

Main reasons why I find it hard to write about me:

1. My life seems boring. Can't find anything interesting to write about. I spend about 10 hours a day at work. That's a family business so technically I'm with my family 24/7.
2. Some of my real friends know this blog so I can't really say what I want to say without worrying about spilling too much.
3. I write me in a third person. I mask my life stories into something not-so-me. My other blog reflects more about me.
4. I'm afraid of being judged. Too much. Even if about 80% who gets to read my blog don't know me at all, I feel people can see right through me and have a preconceived idea of me.
5. Clearly, I overthink.

For Comments and Suggestions...

Do you see those "for comments and suggestions, write/call us at..." in food labels?

I'm the kind of customer who always writes them back. Always. Call me weird but I just love talking to customer representatives, commenting on their new packaging, complaining on the services. Everything there is to comment about. Maybe I got that from my Service Marketing class in college. I never want to get less than what I'm paying for. So even in restaurants, I'm such a pain in the ass.

Last week I had this random desire to write a company. I sent an email to Nestle Philippines who manufacture Chuckie. It's a chocolate drink and I've always loved it since I was a kid. (It was not called Chuckie then.) I had a "problem" with its straw, which they changed to make it more fun, supposedly. But it wasn't fun at all. The straw that should be able to extend, most of the time, is detached, which leaves me and my dad having to drink from just half of the straw. So I wrote them saying I like the old straw better. And I was happy they wrote me back saying they would consider my suggestion on their next product planning.

Have you ever done something like this before? It may not be as strangely irrelevant as this, but I'd like to know if I share this habit with anyone else. =)